just come out here and I will go home with you...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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