Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
