I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
