4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I had to cum in my sink.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
