there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided