Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.