i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.