Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

Goodnight sugar queer

(480): View more from Arizona

Sugar queer??

(602): View more from Arizona

Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?

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(602): Goodnight sugar queer (480): Sugar queer?? (602): Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'? http://tfl.nu/rsho

Replies (17) Good night (1637) Bad night (2055)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.

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(705): I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single. http://tfl.nu/i1tx

Replies (48) Good night (2165) Bad night (4461)
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(407): View more from Florida

so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.

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(407): so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it. http://tfl.nu/5uvk

Replies (33) Good night (1555) Bad night (4575)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.

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(828): there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not. http://tfl.nu/i6ea

Replies (96) Good night (1387) Bad night (4572)
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(206): View more from Washington

We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.

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(206): We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts. http://tfl.nu/k2p7

Replies (18) Good night (6553) Bad night (981)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.

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(414): He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after. http://tfl.nu/s41l

Replies (8) Good night (3615) Bad night (785)
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(630): View more from Illinois

He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.

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(630): He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding. http://tfl.nu/mxqh

Replies (1) Good night (1269) Bad night (2538)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.

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(812): I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me. http://tfl.nu/jath

Replies (6) Good night (3127) Bad night (819)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.

(856): View more from New Jersey

Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits

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(856): 12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong. (856): Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits http://tfl.nu/ncaq

Replies (19) Good night (5201) Bad night (860)
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(703): View more from Virginia

There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.

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(703): There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened. http://tfl.nu/llik

Replies (19) Good night (1502) Bad night (944)
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(281): View more from Texas

Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.

(940): View more from Texas

Deal.

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(281): Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass. (940): Deal. http://tfl.nu/ji2y

Replies (14) Good night (2914) Bad night (658)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.

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(479): As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man. http://tfl.nu/2x85

Replies (2) Good night (870) Bad night (431)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming

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(615): Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming http://tfl.nu/odmb

Replies (4) Good night (1267) Bad night (366)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.

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(570): I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head. http://tfl.nu/umyc

Replies (4) Good night (484) Bad night (343)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me

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(+44): HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me http://tfl.nu/upe9

Replies (4) Good night (631) Bad night (256)

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