Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.

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  (757): I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling. http://tfl.nu/uymu
  Replies (6) Good night (957) Bad night (2163)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.

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  (860): I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage. http://tfl.nu/q50p
  Replies (17) Good night (4322) Bad night (1895)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano

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  (210): I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano http://tfl.nu/qhs9
  Replies (23) Good night (1062) Bad night (6183)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?

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  (917): your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin? http://tfl.nu/252o
  Replies (16) Good night (3932) Bad night (2000)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."

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  (870): He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed." http://tfl.nu/z9xx
  Replies (11) Good night (6964) Bad night (1460)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?

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  (443): I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch? http://tfl.nu/v0c3
  Replies (17) Good night (4440) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.

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  (307): He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him. http://tfl.nu/54ly
  Replies (7) Good night (3762) Bad night (919)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"

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  (305): What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?" http://tfl.nu/3mlg
  Replies (8) Good night (845) Bad night (3711)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...

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  (773): i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is... http://tfl.nu/4q16
  Replies (4) Good night (2401) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.

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  (609): he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it. http://tfl.nu/w24u
  Replies (18) Good night (1516) Bad night (6693)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.

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  (407): I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls. http://tfl.nu/jhsp
  Replies (6) Good night (1527) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha

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  (724): You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha http://tfl.nu/w49q
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve

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  (330): I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve http://tfl.nu/wq9l
  Replies (3) Good night (885) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"

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  (862): You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe" http://tfl.nu/u8zn
  Replies (3) Good night (999) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"

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  (516): I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice" http://tfl.nu/h37t
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (193)

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