stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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