Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
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Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
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before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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