i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
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Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
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Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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