Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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