eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
