Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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