If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
