I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
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