Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
