i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
