you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
