I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
