He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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