I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
