I don't usually arrange sex via text message
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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