if you like me you must not know who I am
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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