i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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