Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
