Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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