Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
