Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
