Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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