She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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