yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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