also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
