Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
