Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
