i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
