apparently the secret to your success is patron
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
