Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
