It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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