...so i touched it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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