how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
