His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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