im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
