I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just high enough for therapy.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
