So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
