He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
