Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize