You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize