so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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