Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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