Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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