just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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