If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize