I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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