By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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