You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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