You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
