Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
