sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
