whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize