Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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